Watchedoverbyangels's Blog

its started

watchedoverbyangels — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:21:16 +0000

So the revenge ashe has bestowed upon me has started today. All the secrets i have told her she is unsubtley dumping onto the persons in said secrets. This is a devestatingly l0w blow on her part i feel. The fact i have been ostracised from her family and banned from ever knowing my niece feels like enopugh punishment. Now i am getting irate texts from people asking what i have been saying to her. what i told her, i told her in confidence sister to sister.. I had hoped she’d be grown up enough not to betray my trust as i have hers. Two wronmgs don’t make a right and all that. So it seems i am in for more shit.

Contemplation

watchedoverbyangels — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:23:51 +0000

Excuse my awful typing skills. hopefully they may improve with time.

After the last few days it’s hard not to feel isolated. Yes i have wonderful friends and i know they will be with me, supporting me. But no one will understand the utter shame and degredation i feel for myself. And quite rightly i deserve to feel like this. I am a bad person. I have killed the one relationship that should be sacred. The relationship between 2 sisters. I hate being out of control of anything, yet it was my actions which led me to this nightmare. She hates me and probably always will. Yes in time she may try to forgive and forget, but in all honesty she never will. And i have done this to her. She will never trust me, never fully forgive me, and never ever will forget the hurtful things i have done.

Its pulled my family apart and it’s true. No one in my family will ever forget either. It’s just something i’ll have to live with. But i sit here feeling utterly helpless and i don’t know how i’m ever going to get through this. Time machines? I wish i had one.

Hello world!

watchedoverbyangels — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:03:35 +0000

Hey there to whoever my be reading. A lot of things have happened over the past year. Mostly by the hurt i’ve caused. so i’ve decided to keep an online journal. Good, bad, funny sad it’ll all be here.

I have a lot of self realisation to do. I’ve caused so much pain and heartache. I think it’s unintentional but everything is done for a reason and i need to figure out why i have done the things i have done. So unfortunately for whoever reads this it may not be pretty. but hopefully through time i will discover who i really am and who i want to be.

So bear with me and lets enjoy the ride (boak – that sounds really cheesy)